I am riding a horse named loneliness. Crossing endless meadows, I try to go back to you. I expose myself to the evil sun, wishing to be burned, trying to erase completely the leftovers inside me. I need to feel something again, even if that something is just pain.
You left too long ago, taking my battered heart with you. I've been told that after taking it to pieces, you sold them in a decadent pawnshop. To say the truth, I don't mind anymore, I'm lacking the strength and the means to take them back again.
Why I couldn't keep being that conformist boy who liked to chew gum carefreely? Why did I have to meddle in that far-off country? Could it be that I was jealous of Marco Polo? Or that I needed to see the Moon from a different latitude? Perhaps I was just too young, to keep good love from going wrong.
And now I'm leaving again, but this time heading nowhere, with no Tinkerbell or Cicerone. No more maps, no more fairy dust for me. This time I'm abandoning everything, I'm letting myself fall on Nothing's arms, hoping to find a path that takes me back to the Origin, and tells me where is the pawnshop where my heart was sold off cheaply.
When I find it, I will pick up every single piece that you dismantled during that cold February. I will put them together again, and after that, I will destroy them with the hammer of oblivion. From that moment on, I won't feel anything. I will flow together with the wind and like water, I will adapt to the shape of my container, without changing myself.
However, I know that the very painful part of this, is that you won't cause me pain anymore. And that what I will miss the most, is missing you.
You left too long ago, taking my battered heart with you. I've been told that after taking it to pieces, you sold them in a decadent pawnshop. To say the truth, I don't mind anymore, I'm lacking the strength and the means to take them back again.
Why I couldn't keep being that conformist boy who liked to chew gum carefreely? Why did I have to meddle in that far-off country? Could it be that I was jealous of Marco Polo? Or that I needed to see the Moon from a different latitude? Perhaps I was just too young, to keep good love from going wrong.
And now I'm leaving again, but this time heading nowhere, with no Tinkerbell or Cicerone. No more maps, no more fairy dust for me. This time I'm abandoning everything, I'm letting myself fall on Nothing's arms, hoping to find a path that takes me back to the Origin, and tells me where is the pawnshop where my heart was sold off cheaply.
When I find it, I will pick up every single piece that you dismantled during that cold February. I will put them together again, and after that, I will destroy them with the hammer of oblivion. From that moment on, I won't feel anything. I will flow together with the wind and like water, I will adapt to the shape of my container, without changing myself.
However, I know that the very painful part of this, is that you won't cause me pain anymore. And that what I will miss the most, is missing you.
Gosh this is so sad...
ReplyDeleteNot so sad... just life.
ReplyDeleteThanks for following!
Of course! And you don't share that much tales from where you are right now, hehehe
ReplyDeleteyes i know... but after working more than 12hs per day 7 days a week, the last thing i feel like writing about is about my daily life here... haha. anyway, i will try yo satisfy u in the next post. promise ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd we still loving you.
ReplyDeleteI love you too machuquista ;)
ReplyDelete